I caught up with a friend today, Mohamad, we were talking about Marco. I told this boy that I really liked Marco.
He asked where he lived.
"QLD," I replied.
He seemed really happy with that reponse. "QLD, hey, that's good for me. He lives in a whole other state."
I told him that I wasn't going to kiss him, I made it very clear that he wasn't getting anything. He didn't really understand I suppose. He kept asking me, "Why?"
"Because I'm in love with someone else," I told him. "I'm not going to kiss someone just because I can. It isn't right. I love marco."
We were standing near the elevator, and he signalled for me to come over. I thought that he was going to kiss me. I said, "no."
"I just want a hug," he replied. So I gave him a hug, and then quickly retreated.
We get back to my house, and I'm saying goodbye to him at the door.
He gave me a hug, and I couldn't get away. Literally. He just held me there. I let go, he didn't.
He losened his grip a little so I got out, and then he held me at face distance again.
i was telling him nicely to let me go. "I'm not going to kiss you," I kept repeating. Possibly just to test me, he then tried to kiss me so I turned my head away and he started kissing my neck. He grabbed my ass. I told him him to stop.
I pushed him away, and said goodbye. Then I locked the door.
I feel so bad. I hope I didn't do anything wrong. I told him I didn't like him. I made it so clear. "I'm just divugling this to you so that you know I'm not leading you on. I like someone else." I kept repeating it to him, so many times. I thought I'd be OK.
I didn't kiss him, but I feel horrible that I was in the situation.
I told Marco that I had something I needed to tell him - I sent him a message. He asked what it was. I just said that I had something I felt bad about and I'd tell him when I could have a conversation with him.
He asked me to tell him then, he asked if I cheated on him.
I said no, and that I was sorry that he even asked that question.
he replied that he was joking when he asked.
"No you weren't" I confirmed. Then I told him that I understood and for him not to worry about it, just to forget I ever said anything.
I hope that he doesn't hate me when I tell him.
I just feel so guilty..
I want to remember What takes a lifetime to forget