I've never told anyone about the night I found out Blake had passed away. Perhaps it's about time.
My best friend and I had never been wasted in our lives. We unanimously decided that it was about time we got drunk, or at least reasonably tipsy.
We stole my parent's alcohol, taking the tequila and wine up the flight of stairs to her bedroom. We weren't going to drink all of it, just a little each.
Whilst squigging away we were amusing ourselves by playing Crash Bash on the PS2. Funniest game ever, partially because we were in that state of mind.
Mid way through it I get a call from my [ex] crush. I was excited to hear from him.
"Jess, I just thought I'd be the one to call and tell you. Blake has passed away."
I sobered up almost instantly. Letting the words sink in, I replied, asking where and when. How and why. It got to a point for me where no information was sinking in. I had to hang up.
"OK, thanks for calling Seb. Bye."
For a moment I just sat there on the bed. Not able to do anything. I remember thinking: I should be sadder than this. I'm not upset at all. What is wrong with me?
Ness asked what happened, asked if i was OK.
I replied that I was fine.
A few minutes later it hit me.
Blake. Was. Dead.
I have never cried so much in my life, and I have a lot of instances to cry about.
I haven't touched alcohol since, apart from on my 16th birthday.
It holds too many bad memories for me..
Blake had just turned 18. He couldn't wait for his party he was going to have in the summer.
He never quite got there I suppose..
I want to remember What takes a lifetime to forget